Saturday, 25 April 2009

I can't believe I said that

Regular readers (yes all three of you) will know that often I go quiet it's because I don't have anything good to say.

It's true, this week I had a major implosion, luckily the intensity was fierce so the longevity was short.

On Wednesday I muttered some words I never thought I would hear myself say. On the train home from work, I was tired, well weary. It felt like Groundhog Day (so american but is there an English alternative?).

The sun was shining, the pubs by the river were serving jugs of Pims and I was going home, as I always do; to put my baby to bed, as I always do.

And I realised: I hadn't been enjoying my little girl that much lately and I said so. I can't believe it but yes I said the words and I meant them.

(In fact I hadn't really been enjoying anything very much - god I can be a miserable cow.)

I said those words and the flood gates opened. It was nasty, PD bore the brunt but now it's over.

I was so pleased to see my little girl the next morning, the sun still shone my neighbours rallied around making me feel loved and I went to yoga.

I'm hoping to be back on track now, so you'll be hearing more from me...

1 comment:

stefanie said...

lovie you wouldnt be human if you didnt think this sometimes..everyone has thoughts like this...but tickle isobel make her giggle..did you know that a child giggles/laughs on average 300 times a day,while we as adults average 4 times a day. more laughing is needeed.