Wednesday, 29 June 2011

N is for

In our house N is for nest or for Nick, nut I don't think it will long before it is also for 'nursing home'.

What with Little Girl's iPad dexterity I'm sure it won't be long before she starts googling them.

Why? I hear you ask.

Well, I don't think it will be too long before her mother is a burden on her. You see I am quite accident prone, be it glass or a large splinter in my foot, or a need to 'fix' my hair, I seem to spend a lot of time hobbling or 'hopping on one leg mummy'.

'I look after you mummy'
'careful mummy, it's dangerous' ( walking down the stairs)
'over here mummy, there's a car'

But the worst thing I have done so far? I fell down the stairs, cried out and little girl shut herself in the bathroom where she spent twenty minutes crying for her daddy. All my bones had gone into shock and I couldn't go back up to her.

So none of this business where the toddler saves a life by dialling 999.

When she calmed down, once she had bought me something 'cool to make the hurt better' (no, not a G&T - what kind of mum do you take me for?), I was told off.

'that was a sad choice mummy.'
'don't do it again mummy'
'it makes me sad'

Makes her sad!! It's me with the bruises.

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Monday, 27 June 2011

So, Cybermummy...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Ok, that may be a bit dramatic but it kind of sums up the mixed emotions I have about it. I put off writing this post to let things settle.

You see I went along to catch up with bloggers I met before this mummy blogging thing really took off and to meet the tweeters whose tweets have made me cry with love, laughter and despair.

I didn't think about the 375 or so other peeps that would be there. You see ere were many times when it was all a little overwhelming and disheartening.

I didn't realise how unfriendly the blogosphere could be. I know the competition and pressure to 'perform' had threatened to stop me blogging on many occasions over the last few years, annoying because I loved blogging so much. it just seems it's not such a friendly community anymore.I was looked through on so many occasions.

Money isn't why I blog (but yes I will do the odd review and now have my first advertiser), I don't need SEO, I'm just happy with some friendly commenters, though detractors are published too. Is that such a bad thing?

But, I'm going to stop with the negative now, because a couple of days after my early departure from Cybermummy I'm feeling much more positive. The anxiety has subsided and I can enjoy the lovely lovely things.

So, the lovely lovely lovely things were the people I was so keen to see and meet, no one disappointed and I have prioritised my blog reader to just include those I love. By reducing the quantity I am less likely to hit 'mark all as read' and more likely to keep up with those I count as friends.

Oh I chatted to Sarah Brown and she pointed me to @gingerbread for single parents.

I had my hair blow dried by a man from the telly.

And did I mention the lovely lovely lovely people.

My biggest laugh came from being in an amazing line up of Old Timers for the blogger calendar.

Oh, and as much as some people turned me off, I also fell a little back in love with blogging.

And I won a prize... Not sure what it is yet as I left long before prize giving. But, I do know it's Duplo!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Saturday, 25 June 2011


Oops I mean in Tents

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Monday, 20 June 2011

Cybermumy 2011

There seems to be a lot of pre-event meeting and greeting going on and in my typical insecure-worried-about-doing-the-wrong-thing-and-being-left-out fashion I thought I would try and join in.

Now I'm not really sure what I am meant to do. Some people have discussed their outfits, some revealed more about themselves and others how they feel about cybermummy.

What can I tell you:

I'm hoping to wear an orange frock but it's a little snug today

I started my blog to revel in a pregnancy that was contentious to say the least. Mummy blogging hadn't quite reached the proportions it has today and at the time I felt part of a lovely new club.

Now I kind of feel like I've been left behind and that I am no longer part of the club, that it has outgrown me and that I don't seem to have the time to devote to it that it requires.

So, I wonder if going to cybermummy is a desire to fit in again? I don't know, I know I am excited to reconnect with the mummies I met in the early days, but I know that I am scared that I don't fit in.

Scared that the blog I so used to enjoy, the club that I joined in it's early days really has grown up and left me behind.

Oh, and even with all that angst, I'm going to have some fun.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Things I have learnt this evening

'I spy something curtainy' means, funnily enough, 'I spy curtains'.

Even if you say your bed is a space rocket and do 'one, two, three, four five, flast (yes 'flast') off' you may find 'it's not moving mummy, oh silly me, it's a bed'

Also, houses are too big to move. And, even if they could move, they would be 'too big to go down the slide'.

Was your bedtime as educational?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, 17 June 2011

I bet you think it is mid-summer

Luckily Little Girl isn't fooled, this is how she dressed for nursery today:

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Fit or Flop

This is a sponsored post in that I was sent a lovely shiny pair of Fit Flops

So many things these days seem to be intent on pointing out how old I am; the latest thing actually being my feet.

Well, maybe not my feet, but my back. Only in that my back is beginning to dictate what I wear on my feet.

My summer footwear of choice would be the classic flip-flop, the minimal rubber styling of something like a Haivianna (do you remember a time before these when flip-flops were just flip-flops? Except in Oz of course when it’s a thong…)

Now I am a Mum who is fast approaching her forties (F*ck me when did that happen – the forties that is, I know about the birds and the bees!) I have to be aware that those minor pains are less minor and more fat ass (quite literally) pains.

Luckily for me the nice people at Cloggs have sent me a pair of Fitflops to review.

While I approach their bulk in horror I do find myself admiring the support. I am looking at these less as something to give me a bottom like the one in the picture but more to stop me having to walk like a seventy year old hunch back.

I’m sorry but the sparkles do little to mask the bulk and I do find it difficult to imagine when, based on aesthetics, these would be my style choice, but they are blooming comfy. And yes, supportive; strange as they are designed to destabilise you to make your muscles work harder. I’ll get back to you, with photos, when my arse resembles the advertising picture.

I’ve poked around the Cloggs website and I quite fancy a pair of these ones. I mean if Anna Sui can design them maybe, just maybe I can adjust my sense of style just a little.

I did say maybe…

Friday, 10 June 2011

Pass me that stick, I'd like to beat myself

I was reading Sally blog with her ten reasons she is a bad mummy, and you know I have a list of reasons I'm a bad mummy too.

My list covers things from letting Little Girl watch too much telly through to the fact that I relish my time alone a little more than I think I ought to.

And I guess that is actually the crux of the matter: it's what 'I think'.

I'm the one judging me against my own criteria. Criteria not based on any form of reality, just how I think I ought to be.

Basically, I think it boils down to the fact that I am not the mum I thought I'd be.

Oh, and I didn't realise what a chore going to the park could be.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

MY Stairway to Heaven

Restored to it's former glory

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Monday, 6 June 2011

Stairway to Heaven

The title may be a bit misleading and if you are young and were not educated in the way of music by your parents I am probably about to baffle you even further.

You see, I only wish 'that all that glitters is gold', and if I could afford to 'buy' anything right now I wouldn't be writing this post - but now I nearly gave away the punch line.

The drugs are obviously working as I am actually beginning to get things done rather than spending weeks and months just fretting and guilting about them.

Saturday afternoon I painted the front door.

The last two evenings have found me making my way up my stairs backwards, on my bottom. No, I haven't fallen over again, cheeky.I have been painting the stairs. Like Rapunzel I am now stranded in my tower, anyone wanting to rescue me would have to come through the window.

As I painted my way to bed last night little girl came out of her bedroom to watch.

Her comment: 'ooh I like the stairs mummy', went down well.

The comment 'you look like a man mummy', was a little more perplexing.

Apparently I looked like a man because I was painting. Oh my.

Believe you me, if I could afford it or if I had one to hand, I would have got a man in!

Don't lynch me, it's not that I can't do it (obviously), I just would rather not.

Perhaps I best start reading Delusions of Gender

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Saturday, 4 June 2011

What do you use your baby's bottom cream for?

Over the last week I have discovered that poverty and vanity are not a good combination.

Last week I allowed my vanity to persuade me that as much as I love the colour of my hair I should hide the grey.

I did. I reached for a Nice n Easy the same colour has my hair not heading the small print that said on natural red hair you will get a lighter red result. To be honest I didn't realise my hair was that red.

The result a red so light it was luminous. Luminous orange that is. A vat of conditioner and a brown semi permanent colour later I am a rather glorious ginger. Oh yes, that IS an improvement.

Today I found a mascara languishing in a bag I hadn't used for about a year. I applied said mascara and have been weeping all day.

But, poverty can me the mother of invention. Ok, I know it is necessity but is vanity really a need? Hmm you have a point. Yes it is.

So, I when I developed what can only be described as acne on my chest do you know how I got rid of it?

I slapped Sudocrem on it every night. It worked a treat.

Apparently women are seeking out the intense moisturising charms of Waitrose's Baby Bottom Butter to slap on their faces.

What do you use your baby's bottom cream for?

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Friday, 3 June 2011

Just for a moment

Yesterday evening there was a moment, just a moment, when I felt like a successful working mum.

I'd been into The City, picked Little Girl up from nursery, gone home and made a snow man card with her. (yes, I do know it is summer but she wanted to glue cotton wool to a card in the form of a snow man - who am I to argue).

After the arts and crafts we snuggled, I read stories and by eight she was asleep and I was doing admin.

By nine I was curled up with a good book on my Kindle.

All this and I only had one gin and tonic.

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