From me on a great day

My dearest darlingest Zoë

We have known each other for a very long time now, longer than perhaps we care to admit, I just wanted to take this opportunity to write you a little note.

It is now 20 years since you left home, left the island to spend a year in Oz before traipsing off to uni.

Your life is amazing and I want to point out that that is down to you and your energy. I know you feel that you are only interesting because you know such interesting people but have you ever thought that maybe they find you interesting too? Yes, yes dismiss me if you like but you have actually managed to write the words, so hold onto that thought! Life hasn’t always been easy but that’s ok. It’s all this experience that has made you who you are and allows you to see the things you see and feel all the things that you do. Yep, it’s all this that really makes you see the magic. You have felt great love and also great loss, but would the loss have been so great without the love?

You have beautiful friends and family who are only too happy to love and support you when you let them, when you don’t allow your anxiety to keep you prisoner. As you move into this new phase of life where you are finding the work that makes your heart sing, you are open to all the love that is around and yes maybe even are ready for Mr Right. ‘You gotta have a dream…’ Who knows if your dream of moving home but working in London will come true? Who knows when you will find your champion?

Enjoy the journey because you are beginning to become the person you would like your daughter to be: someone who dreams, lives without fear but secure in the knowledge that you are loved.

And maybe, just maybe you’ll be able to grow into the mother you’d like to be too.

Lots of love and happy birthday

Me xx

Ps. Now you have treated yourself to new undies you have bolstered your support no end, do not undervalue this.








- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What do you use your baby's bottom cream for?

Over the last week I have discovered that poverty and vanity are not a good combination.

Last week I allowed my vanity to persuade me that as much as I love the colour of my hair I should hide the grey.

I did. I reached for a Nice n Easy the same colour has my hair not heading the small print that said on natural red hair you will get a lighter red result. To be honest I didn't realise my hair was that red.

The result a red so light it was luminous. Luminous orange that is. A vat of conditioner and a brown semi permanent colour later I am a rather glorious ginger. Oh yes, that IS an improvement.






Today I found a mascara languishing in a bag I hadn't used for about a year. I applied said mascara and have been weeping all day.

But, poverty can me the mother of invention. Ok, I know it is necessity but is vanity really a need? Hmm you have a point. Yes it is.

So, I when I developed what can only be described as acne on my chest do you know how I got rid of it?

I slapped Sudocrem on it every night. It worked a treat.

Apparently women are seeking out the intense moisturising charms of Waitrose's Baby Bottom Butter to slap on their faces.

What do you use your baby's bottom cream for?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Seven days, seven things

I was tagged for a Meme by Muddling Along Mummy but it is one I have done before plus I really don't think there are seven things you don't know about me!

So I thought I'd tell you 7 things I have done in the last seven days simply because I actually HAVE seven things to tell you.

1. This time last week I had been drinking champagne for two hours and was to find myself stumbling out of a bar at 2am, feeling very proud of myself for partying, flirting and laughing.

2. I had my first MacDonalds in recent history - I'd forgotten how good a cheese burger can be!

3. On Wednesday I taught Kriss Akabusi a short meditation.

4. I have lost 4lbs on the Dukan Diet - I can now get into my dress for a wedding in a few weeks (no not mine)

5. I have started a counselling course and have a feeling my tutor (it's online) is actually the brother of an ex boyfriend and I don't think he ever liked me, especially after I broke his brother's heart. But that was a long-time ago I'm sure he won't grade me accordingly will he?

6. I have potty trained my daughter - well made a blooming good start.

7. Started looking for my vocation

It has been a fantastic seven days, thanks to many many people in my life.  This award (maybe without the blogger bit) is for you.

Wasted - 'fraid not

Last time Tasha at Wham-Bam set me homework I failed - but I will write the post about Isobel's name at some point, promise.

But here she set me the task of writing my highlights of 2009 and as it is New Years Eve it is appropriate that I take this assignment.

Ok, so it has been a funny old year but, in no particular order, other than as they come to me, here are my highlights:

1. I have a job. Yipee for me. When I asked the universe to provide me with a three or four day a week job, flexible enough to allow me to care for my daughter, who knew I would get it. Ok, so I'm not paid as much as I once was, but I have a fantastic boss and colleagues amongst whom I have found some very very good new friends.

2. I have made fantastic new friends who's wisdom has relieved me of a great burden; I know I chose to have Isobel but PD CHOSE to be a part of it - I haven't derailed his life. While we are on the subject of friends, I have been lucky enough to have some great ones, old and new. These people have stood by me even in my year in which I have been neglectful. So if you are reading this I am so grateful and so happy to have you in my world.

3. Stripping off in public to be a life model has to be a highlight - doesn't it? Hey it was brave if nothing else.

4. My cousin Verity's wedding was certainly one of Isobel and my highpoints. It served to illuminate all that is fantastic about my family, gave me an opportunity to be twirled and to feel loved. Not to mention the fact that it was probably the last time my Grandparents danced together.

5. Getting to know my little girl as she grows and blossoms I am sure will be a major part of every year for many more to come. Her walking and now her talking give me fantastic pleasure. She is a constant (if not consistent!) source of joy.

So all in all I have lots to count my blessings for: my family close and slightly less close; my friends old, new and revisited (and virtual!).

I had a New Years bath earlier ( I promise I do bathe more than once a year) but the idea was to wash away all that was less than good in 2009, and actually found myself reminding me of how far I have come in a decade. Now for my own benefit, a quick synopsis for when ever I need it:

I have married and left a man whose love I underestimated; I have travelled around the world; achieved the peak in job titles and probably (unfortunately) my earning potential;I have bought and made a beautiful home; I have loved with all my heart and been loved back equally, only to have to watch him die; I have trekked and travelled independently in South America; I have achieved my ambition of speaking in public; and I guess my ambition of writing, with this blog; and I have stripped off in public; and I have given birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Not a wasted decade that's for sure.

Not so out of touch then

For the last year I have kind of felt a little, well maybe a lot, out of touch with the real world.

But, this morning another commuter chat showed actually how in touch I am:

1. I do Twitter - Ok it's sporadic and as I socialise less in real life I seem to be even worse at virtual socialising
2. I am on Facebook - haven't updated my staus in years but I am there.
3. I know about Etsy, Notonthehighstreet, and folksy.
4. I am wearing v. fashionable red brogues
5. Not only have I manged to read a Guardian news story in the last few weeks, I have retained enough knowledge and understanding to discuss it!.

Maybe I might be more than one dimensional after all.