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Saturday 2 August 2008

This is a hard post to write and is one I hoped I wouldn't have to.

...it's also a post I postponed because I respected PD and thought there were some people who wouldn't care to find this out this way. Yes, I know it's my blog and I can write what I want but I do want to show some respect for others feelings, even if it means censoring myself.

Okay, so that was a long preamble, more prevarication I guess, but it's time to be out with it.

I am now a single mum. That in itself isn't really that sad, to be honest nothing really has changed in that respect, Isobel still gets the same care she has always had, there is just one less smile around the house. What's sad is that our little girl will not be kissed goodnight by, and wake up with, both her Mum and her Dad. But I do kiss her for him and remind her that he loves her and tell her that I miss him too.

It just wasn't right, let's face it we never expected this relationship to go this far; whether you call it circumstances or destiny it has taken us from a dalliance; to living together; to being parents together. And actually it wasn't bad at all, in fact it was very good, there was just that something unquantifiable missing.

So, two months ago PD took the decision to leave, and last week he actually did. It wasn't easy for him as, in many ways, it is him that has the most to lose.

But you know what, we still love, and like, each other enough to bring up our child together. We've spent the weekend in each others company enjoying our little girl, and whiled away our evenings together, long after Isobel has been safely tucked up in bed.

I firmly believe we will make this work as a family, our own special kind of family.

Our cheesy family in the treetops today

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I always look forward to reading your posts as they are always full of what I would love to say and also a wonderful reminder of our last 5 months.. But today I saw a very brave post and just wanted to send you a very big hug (not that you always want one for fear of crumbling - something I recognise in myself very often!) and a large glass of wine. oh, and some chocolate cornflakes...

Mwah to both you feisty girls. xxx