Today...

was the first day of my maternity leave and it may just have been over exertion but I feel a little emotional.

This morning I have moved and disconnected a washing machine , made a trip to Mothercare to do some returns (no not presents!) and I came back exhausted. New machine and new, but very old, chair delivered all I wanted to do was act like a teenager - lie on my bed and cry.

So, I did. I cried because no longer have the security of a job or money now or in the future, because I'll miss the people I work with, because I saw my breastfeeding councilor on tele climbing mountains; but mostly I cried because this is such a big leap into the unknown on all counts. I'm about to start an adventure, a real adventure of and for a lifetime.

It's all a little odd, and I felt a little alone and overwhelmed today...


.... and then I felt my baby move and I smiled.