A few weeks ago I muttered the words 'I'm not enjoying Isobel that much'. I'd had a groundhog week (yes, only a week!), the sun had been shining and I was picturing happy young folk sitting by the river with a nice cold glass of Chablis in their hands wandering home when it go too cold to sit outside anymore.
And what was I doing? I was doing the the same thing I do EVERY day I was going home to pick up my little girl. I felt trapped and I was mourning my loss of freedom. (Just typing these words makes me sad all over again.)
But you know what? As soon as I'd said it and gone through all the emotion I'd been trying to deny, things got miraculously better.
I don't know if Isobel was frustrated by not being able to walk, or if we were just feeding off each other's negative emotion, but I have to say my walking and not-really-yet-talking little girl has become the best company ever.
She wanders around the house bringing me presents with a 'Ta', she cuddles, she kisses, she plays and she likes to sit beside me.
You and me girl, we are going to go far.
3 comments:
Yay for Isobel, she makes me happy even though I live in South Africa!
We all have low days/weeks when our kid/s overwhelm us to a greater or lesser extent. I have definitely been there and remember saying those exact words (well not about Isobel!) to my Dad when my daughter was about 6 month's old. It had been a rough few sleepless, sicky days and I longed for a taste of freedom and sanity.
I think you put your finger on the solution though when you said you felt better after just expressing your negativity. Without spouting unqualified psychobabble, I really think that owning whatever you're feeling is the 1st step to doing something about it. Once you realise there might be something up, however minor, you're in a position to do something about it. In my case, it was booking my Mum in for a few hours baby-sitting so I could go and get a reflexology treatment and indulge in a little retail therapy.
The sun peeped out from behind the clouds...and I was overjoyed to be reunited with my daughter after the 3 hr separation. Well done you for getting there without any external help!
Thank you I needed that.
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