Thursday, 18 November 2010

Moving on?

As a single mum I think the most difficult thing I have had to do is dating.

I use 'have had to' very loosely because obviously I could quite simply stay single and fill my life with my daughter and girls nights out - actually that has served me pretty well.

Girlfriends urged me to sign up to Internet dating sites to meet men and probably most importantly get over PD.

Well Internet dating didn't really go to well, my heart wasn't in it and I never bothered to go on any dates - far too scary!

But as luck would have it, someone I already knew turned into a prospect, a surprising one, one I kind of fought because it seemed unlikely.

Now actually going on dates is relatively easy; PD has Isobel fairly regularly so great. Plenty of lead up, frock pondering and anticipation time.

But it's other things that are tricky.

When do you introduce new man to little girl, we are pretty much a package?

Overnight stays, I'm the kind of girl who runs out at 5am at the best of times, let alone when I have a daughter returning home at any minute.

When is it serious enough to tell PD; let's face it, it his little girl who will spending time with someone else.

How do I maintain the precious family dynamic that PD and I have battled to create?

When is the right time for that overnight stay to be allowed even though there is a possibility of three in a bed - not in a kinky way!

And most importantly, how do I not only prevent my heart from being broken but keep Isobel's intact too?

So far, for all this angst it seems to be worth it. I'm definitely smiling.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Becky said...

ooh good luck - when you find the answers let me know as I've not dipped toe back in the water yet! Think for Isobel's sake you need to have any man as a friend before making leap to boyfriend/staying night.

Surprised and Excited Mum said...

Momma Sunshine has left a new comment on your post "Moving on?":

Those are tough questions that any single parent needs to answer. The frustrating part is that there are no right answers, in my book. I think the best thing you can do is listen to your heart and do what feels right. Don't rush anything...just let things unfold naturally over time. If you give the situation time and space, you will find things move along at their own pace.

*hugs* It's not easy, but as long as you're still smiling, then I'd consider it a win. :-)

Surprised and Excited Mum said...

I have known him a while and we have taken it very slow. Luckily he is very patient and very understanding.

I think he appreciates all of this but is still willing! Brave eh?!

Momma Sunshine said...

The ones who are patient and understanding are the ones worth keeping. :-)

Good for you!!