Just Because

Bottle Update

So, after a no go with Wednesday's lunchtime bottle, I successfully plied Isobel with it in the night.

And Friday? Hey, presto Isobel took the bottle with no fuss at all. So, that's the 10:30 feed covered.

It's just the timings for everything else that's all up the spout now. Isobel is waking up more often and earlier in the night now and I'm shattered - I thought formula was meant to have the opposite effect!

So with that and the smellier nappies I'm at a loss to see the benefit. But, the dwindling milk in my boobs implies that there is no going back now...

So...

I lost the battle of the wills; Isobel still refused the bottle when she woke up.

As for the jabs: the three needles hurt, Isobel screamed and I shed a tear, but she cried far, far less than she did about the bottle.

What's a Mummy to do?

I am the wickedest, most evil mother in the world

Well that's how it feels.

My daughter has cried and screamed herself to sleep and where she is still doing the sniff-hic.

All because I'm trying to wean her onto a bottle. I don't even know why. I have a perfectly good pair of breasts just bursting with milk, so why am I the one engaging in a battle of wills, not to mention washing and sterilising all the bottles.

And as soon as she wakes up and feeds - on the bottle - I have to take her for more jabs.

Not a good mother and daughter day. I just want to cry.

A Hollow Victory

After weeks of trying, but not being able to go through with it we've done it.

After an hour of tears, more Isobel's than mine this time, we've cracked it.

For lunch today, Isobel has had 5 ozs (give or take the bits she spat out or just allowed to dribble out of her mouth in defiance) of room temperature formula from a Tommy Tippee anatomically correct bottle.

The Health Vsitor said I should stop giving in because she'd know she could get her way (at 16 weeks?!), so today I didn't. Now I'm left with a boob about ready to explode - yes I know should express but I hate doing that - and a rather sad feeling.

Am I really ready to give up breastfeeding?

Big Dreams

Yesterday, Isobel took her last nap in her moses basket.

Yesterday, Isobel took her first sleep in her cot. Such a big bed for such a little baby, plenty of room for playing, and even more room for dreaming.

It must be said last night was one of the easiest bedtimes ever:

Bath, boob, book (Slinky Malinki, always a favourite) - check, check, and check.

Put down in cot sleepy - check.

Isobel roused, smiled and wanted to play, so I left her (else I knew I'd want to play too). She kicked about and chatted for 5 minutes, then boom, out like a light. No going to sleep grissle and drone, just gurgles and then... silence.

I Heart Teetha

Oh my god, teething granules ROCK. 20 minutes after sprinkling this magic powder into the little ones mouth and hey presto....

she smiles again!

Misery

Judging by the constant drone of misery eminating from my daughter, I think she is in discomfort.

The way she is struggling to sleep I think she is in pain.

We are drowning in dribble, so it looks like it's teething time.

The hippy-mum in me has tied a tlismi_moti bead around her neck; is opening the Teetha granules; and is cooling the rattles.

But if all else fails I'll be reaching for the magic of Calpol.

AWOL

I love my little Isobel, I really do. But the happy, giggly gurgling little girl seems to have gone AWOL.

To make things worse someone has replaced my chilled little girl with a willfull little madam who can turn on the water works at a moments notice.

Part of me is glad to see she has spirit but this early?!

Please will someone bring my Isobel back.

Close and Now a Cigar.

Isobel VERY nearly does lots of things: She's very nearly sitting up on her own - 1 second then a lurch to the side; she very, very nearly rolls from her back to her front.

But today, today she actually did roll from her front to her back, and loved it.

So,we have done it again... and again... and again...

The Isle of Wight

I'm going to start this post by getting a couple of whinges out of the way.

I love the Isle of Wight festival for many reasons as I've said before, but I have 2 really, really big gripes. Firstly, why is it the only festival in the land that charges under twelves? Secondly,why, why, why do we need fairground rides that do nothing but add unnecessary noise pollution. I mean it's a MUSIC festival for heavens sake, so why are the rides trying to drown out the great tunes?

Okay, rant over.

I quite enjoyed being at home for a few days, not just because a festival is a great excuse to do precious little except wonder which tunes to listen to, what to have for lunch and will another drink really hurt? I always enjoy showing PD the beauty that is the Island where I grew-up but, what I enjoyed most was being near my best friend Jen again.

You can't beat a best friend when you need a coffee and a chat and seeing Jen and her rambunctious children always is good for whatever ails. It was lovely being able to 'pop-in' and be reassured that 'it will all come out in the wash'; and thank you for babysitting so PD and I could go out and not be parents for an evening.

I miss you Jen. x

Solace in Sand

To console ourselves after PD's departure, we headed for the seaside.

And Isobel took her first paddle

She loved it!

The toes wiggled and sock-jam was replaced by sand.

Isle of Wight Festival 2008 - Did We Have Fun?

What do you think...

I'm really, really sad the weekend had to come to end. x

Happy Father's Day

Dear Daddy,

I love to wriggle
And often giggle,
But nothing beats a Daddy jiggle.

I know I shout,
And sometimes pout,
That's just me letting my love out.

Happy Father’s Day,
Love you in every way.
You ROCK Daddy, that’s what I say.

Love,
The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, your Isobel.

xx

Isle of Wight Festival

This weekend is the Isle of Wight Festival. It's a festival that means a lot to me, not just because I get all the joy of a festival and a comfy bed, not just because it's in my old school playing fields, but because of all the people I have had fun with there.

I've recovered from relationships, enjoyed final memories, grieved and now I've made a baby there.

This year will be very special because we will be there as a family, whatever that may mean.

'chicken Payback' by The Bees live at the iw festival 2007

The Hipshaker Lounge shaking to the sound of The Bees was definately our big discovery of last year.

I cannot tell you how much fun we had, but I'm stll smiling one year on.

Family Photos

Sadly we only have two photos of us as a family


And I'm not sure the second one counts.

Heads Up

Firstly I must confess that this is actually an old post that I have been meaning to write for a week or so. That doesn't mean it's well thought out, it just means being a proud mum I have an Isobel 'feat' I want to share with you .

Tummy time in our house has often been a frustrating affair, with wooden floors and a lack of rugs, I tend to put Isobel on the bed for 'Tummy Time', without a firm surface Isobel just used to think it was an interesting position for a nap.

She has always had a strong neck, has been leaning back to look at me since she was teeny-tiny

But now with have real tummy time results: much heads up looking about

I think this has little to do with neck strength and more to do with the fact that Isobel has suddenly got incredibly nosey.

Who Needs a Magic Carpet...

when you have a magic bathmat.

The bathmat has proved to be a godsend, the fact that Isobel loves it so, makes it magic in all our eyes.

How else would I have my hands free to go to the loo or take a shower?

Separation Anxiety

Mine not Isobel's.

It was me that wanted to cry as I walked out the door of the creche. It was me who looked back three times to make sure all was ok.

Isobel had her Dingle sheep with her afterall.



It was me who had to enlist a friend to stop me spending the hour peering through the window.

It was me who couldn't wait for it to be over.

But it was Isobel who smiled the most when I picked her up.

Side by Side in the Sunshine

If you are looking for Isobel and I, this is where we'll be spending a lot of time this summer.

Or we'll be in the park.

Forever in Blue Jeans

Words of Wisdom

Okay so I have been indulging in a little pity party. A party in which I, as the hostess, had the leastest and my glass was always kept half-empty. Pity Parties are sooo last week it's time to draw this one to a close.

So here are some words of wisdom I found in a sportswear shop in Canada, I keep them on my fridge but I don't always keep them if you know what I mean.

Drink fresh water and as much water as you can. Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.

Observe a plant before and after being watered and relate the benefits to your body and brain.

BREATHE: this lets you live in the moment.
Stretch: this releases toxins from the muscles

Wear Sunscreen.

Listen, listen, listen again and then ask strategic questions.

SWEAT once a day to regenerate your skin.

Compliments from the heart elevate others’ spirit and will often result in an encouraging word from someone else… a domino effect.

Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you LIKE YOURSELF.

Life is full of setbacks. SUCCESS is a determined by how you handle them.

You ALWAYS have a choice and the conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time. Choose a positive thought.

Visualise your eventual demise. It has an amazing effect on how you live for the moment.

Communication is COMPLICATED. Each person is raised in a different family with a different definition of every word.

LOVE.

Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.

NATURE wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce. Mediocre is as close to the bottom as the top. Be Creative. Do one thing every day that scares you.

Dance, sing, floss and travel.

Rules of Marriage: respect the other person, compromise, be open to communicate, and build a common set of life values. If you don’t do this you are in a lot of trouble.

Just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you have them. Children are the orgasm of life.

Friends are more important than money. Don’t trust that an old age pension will be enough.

Stress is related to 99% of all illnesses.

Wake up and realise you are surrounded by amazing friends.

I have my favourites and I hope you will too.

I Just Made My baby Cry Real Tears

By withholding the boob and offering bottle I just made Isobel cry.

I am a wicked Mummy who, for a reason unknown even to myself, has decided to wean her baby onto bottles for the daytime feeds – well the mid-morning and lunchtime ones.

I could say it’s because Isobel is easily distracted at these feeds; or I could cite the fact that I will have to return to work as being the impetus; or is it that I want to give up breastfeeding all together and wear dresses again; perhaps I want to reclaim my breasts.

I really don’t know why it is. But I am.

I want the best of both worlds: the intimacy of breastfeeding in the morning and at night and the freedom of the bottle during the day.

We did give Isobel expressed milk in the early days, but then PD’s work got too demanding for a night feed and I didn’t see why I needed to traipse downstairs to warm a bottle when I had boobs that were fit to bust with milk right there in bed with me. So Isobel stopped liking the bottle.

Then I battled and got her back on the bottle again – tears from both of us – imagine the guilt of making your baby cry when, if you weren’t being so selfish, you could easily give her what she wants.

Then the battle began again with formula, half and half didn’t work. Then full on formula did one night. The next day, hooray, Isobel had a lunchtime bottle. (I didn’t tell anyone because I wasn’t sure I really wanted to relinquish feeding her.)

That was Friday, it hasn’t worked since.

I cannot tell you how guilty I feel that Isobel cried so much she made tears.

Beautiful Babies

At last all our NCT babies were awake at the same time, so after 12 weeks of gathering together here we all are:

Thank you Emma and Tim for a lovely afternoon - next time Emma we will drink FAR more champagne I promise. And Thank you Eloise for being such a gracious little hostess.

(I'm not standing behind Isobel, just in case you were getting confused)

Forget the Weeks

It’s time to stop counting in weeks because Isobel is now a whole three calendar months old.

Our wrist bands for the Isle of Wight Festival have arrived, including one for Isobel, just to remind us that it is a year since we made her (aren’t we clever?!). Emotionally this hasn’t been an easy year, physically it has all been fine but, as with all unplanned babies, there has been a lot of soul searching.

But I can honestly say I have never been unhappy about having Isobel.

Our little one is now three months old, she reaches out and grabs things with both hands and gives them a little shake to make a noise. I hope this is how she always lives her life.