Don't tell Germaine

I have never been one to worry about political correctness, I never felt the need to compete in a 'mans world' (funny as I am one of the few girls in my field), I am happy that I am able to carry my own bag or open doors so I can enjoy these things being done for me.

But, I am aware of need for positive role models for girls. Personally I think not presenting it as an issue means it shouldn't ever be one.

As the person my daughter most wants to dress like I know fat isn't an issue. I have never actually heard her refer to anyone as fat.

All this wonderful work seems to be going nowhere. (I say work but it wasn't really a conscious decision.)

Recently little girl has got into the habit of reading magazines on the loo (I have a Loo Read magazine rack in the bathroom). Normally, the reading material consists of Living Magazine and we laugh at the funny chairs. This week, drawn by a free lip gloss, we had Marie Claire.

The cover had the beautiful Audrey Tatou







who little girl said looked like a witch!

The back shows Kate Moss looking slightly slutty.






And it is Kate Moss she decides is beautiful!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Sea bands (sung to the tune of 'Feelings')

To say little girl suffers from travel sickness is a tad of an understatement.  There have been many a trip to the Island that has ended with me ringing Grandma and asking her to come out with a towel to wrap a vomit soaked child in.  I think the most spectacular one was on the ferry where she managed to cover me in vomit too – nice.
 
Imagine my deep joy when we were sent some Seabands to review. I have tried everything else: not feeding her before a trip; lifting the headrest on the seat in front so she has a clearer view out of the windscreen, and trying to improve my driving.  All of this has had some success, but I welcomed the ‘magic bracelets’ as we called them.
 
They came in various colours and the pink was chosen for first review.  And I must admit the trip they were worn, the one where little girl didn’t sleep, she wasn’t sick.  
 
She did complain of feeling poorly but to be honest I think what she meant was she was bored as she kept asking if we could either ‘stop the car and get out now mummy’ or ‘are we at the ferry boat yet, mummy’.
 
I’d count that as a success but we shall see.  I think one of the issues is making sure you have them on her correctly.  On the adult bands it says make them two finger widths away from the wrist, what is that on a child? Two of her fingers? One of mine?
 
We will use them again and again in the hope that either the psychological or, if I position them right, the physical will keep us vomit free, because as we say in our house it’s all a bit ‘yucky-da’ otherwise.
 
 

Alls well that ends well

You know when you have one of those days that had no right to turn out well but it does?

Well, I have just had one of those.

Today was far too full, far too busy, yet actually left me feeling far more positive than I deserve.

It started at 7 when a young girl with red hair arrived to take my child to nursery but didn't take the keys so the pm pick up couldn't get back in.

I drove 90minutes away to attend a training course. Returned home to a not bathed and ready for bed child because they had to shelter at a friends house because without keys they couldn't get in.

I had a glampervan pick up at 7pm that I had forgotten about and had to duck out of my course to do the insurance.

My child played in the puddles in just her crocs, well she had clothes but her feet were clad only in crocs, you know what I mean!

I got little girl to bed at 7:30 to have three of my favourite people arrive 15 minutes later for supper.

Hey ho, in a funny way I'm sad today is over.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Just because I don't iron her pjs, it doesn't mean I don't love her

Last night I found myself basking in the glory of being a good mum.

What fantastic piece of parenting had me awarding myself this accolade?

Little girl and I took a bath together both equally saturated in anti-nit shampoo.

Surely sharing a nit comb has to be the ultimate expression of motherly love?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The best repellant

The bio on my blog says I'm a 'love f*ckwit' and never has that been more the case than right now.

To be honest I'm getting kind of bored with the drama I seem to create for myself. I have only just realised how lonely I am.

I spun a good line about how great my life is; how I don't know how I would make room for someone else; I'm so busy changing careers I don't have time; I have a three year old no love left over for anyone else...

I wore this story very well, the armour fended off suitors a little too well. By time I realised I didn't want to wear the armour and that perhaps my stories weren't entirely true, it was too late.

Ho hum, at least I know now. I know that as happy as I can be alone it doesn't have to be at the expense of being with someone and maybe even being a family.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

At last a family resemblance

And I don't just mean the t-shirts






Thanks Nick, for proving she is my daughter!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

My baby's got blue...

EVERYTHING

The last two Sundays little girl has done her very best to become a water baby. But, with the English summer not quite fulfilling its role on both occasions I have had to remove a shivering-teeth-chattering-‘I’m not cold mummy’-protesting little girl from the water or waters edge.

Last week it was the sea and building swimming pools with her Uncle Ross (who is, it has to be said, a digging dervish); a pastime that she gave up and went to building beds – complete with a blanket with Auntie Amanda – a much warmer pursuit.













A day so pleasantly exhausting little girl pretty much passed out before I had done up the straps on her car seat.

But, and this is a celebratory ‘Woo-hoo but’, there were moments, long moments when little girl was happy to play alone while I finished chatting with my Aunt. I can see a time when I will sit serenely on a blanket reading a book while my daughter plays beautifully beside me! (Well, maybe for a ten minute period at least)

This Sunday I was probably the only mum on the world filling up a paddling pool from the kettle and the hot tap.








But when you see how much was had with her friend, running from the pool to the trampoline to warm up, it was well worth it






- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Remains of the day

Tonight little girl has gone to bed with flowers painted on her face and minnie mouse balloon floating above her head.

I think she enjoyed going to the fair with daddy.




If she's anything like her mother this won't be the last time she goes to bed without removing her make up.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

N is for

In our house N is for nest or for Nick, nut I don't think it will long before it is also for 'nursing home'.

What with Little Girl's iPad dexterity I'm sure it won't be long before she starts googling them.

Why? I hear you ask.

Well, I don't think it will be too long before her mother is a burden on her. You see I am quite accident prone, be it glass or a large splinter in my foot, or a need to 'fix' my hair, I seem to spend a lot of time hobbling or 'hopping on one leg mummy'.

'I look after you mummy'
'careful mummy, it's dangerous' ( walking down the stairs)
'over here mummy, there's a car'

But the worst thing I have done so far? I fell down the stairs, cried out and little girl shut herself in the bathroom where she spent twenty minutes crying for her daddy. All my bones had gone into shock and I couldn't go back up to her.

So none of this business where the toddler saves a life by dialling 999.

When she calmed down, once she had bought me something 'cool to make the hurt better' (no, not a G&T - what kind of mum do you take me for?), I was told off.

'that was a sad choice mummy.'
'don't do it again mummy'
'it makes me sad'

Makes her sad!! It's me with the bruises.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

So, Cybermummy...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Ok, that may be a bit dramatic but it kind of sums up the mixed emotions I have about it. I put off writing this post to let things settle.

You see I went along to catch up with bloggers I met before this mummy blogging thing really took off and to meet the tweeters whose tweets have made me cry with love, laughter and despair.

I didn't think about the 375 or so other peeps that would be there. You see ere were many times when it was all a little overwhelming and disheartening.

I didn't realise how unfriendly the blogosphere could be. I know the competition and pressure to 'perform' had threatened to stop me blogging on many occasions over the last few years, annoying because I loved blogging so much. it just seems it's not such a friendly community anymore.I was looked through on so many occasions.

Money isn't why I blog (but yes I will do the odd review and now have my first advertiser), I don't need SEO, I'm just happy with some friendly commenters, though detractors are published too. Is that such a bad thing?

But, I'm going to stop with the negative now, because a couple of days after my early departure from Cybermummy I'm feeling much more positive. The anxiety has subsided and I can enjoy the lovely lovely things.

So, the lovely lovely lovely things were the people I was so keen to see and meet, no one disappointed and I have prioritised my blog reader to just include those I love. By reducing the quantity I am less likely to hit 'mark all as read' and more likely to keep up with those I count as friends.

Oh I chatted to Sarah Brown and she pointed me to @gingerbread for single parents.












I had my hair blow dried by a man from the telly.












And did I mention the lovely lovely lovely people.

My biggest laugh came from being in an amazing line up of Old Timers for the blogger calendar.

Oh, and as much as some people turned me off, I also fell a little back in love with blogging.

And I won a prize... Not sure what it is yet as I left long before prize giving. But, I do know it's Duplo!









- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Intense

Oops I mean in Tents







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Cybermumy 2011

There seems to be a lot of pre-event meeting and greeting going on and in my typical insecure-worried-about-doing-the-wrong-thing-and-being-left-out fashion I thought I would try and join in.

Now I'm not really sure what I am meant to do. Some people have discussed their outfits, some revealed more about themselves and others how they feel about cybermummy.

What can I tell you:

I'm hoping to wear an orange frock but it's a little snug today

I started my blog to revel in a pregnancy that was contentious to say the least. Mummy blogging hadn't quite reached the proportions it has today and at the time I felt part of a lovely new club.

Now I kind of feel like I've been left behind and that I am no longer part of the club, that it has outgrown me and that I don't seem to have the time to devote to it that it requires.

So, I wonder if going to cybermummy is a desire to fit in again? I don't know, I know I am excited to reconnect with the mummies I met in the early days, but I know that I am scared that I don't fit in.

Scared that the blog I so used to enjoy, the club that I joined in it's early days really has grown up and left me behind.

Oh, and even with all that angst, I'm going to have some fun.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Things I have learnt this evening

'I spy something curtainy' means, funnily enough, 'I spy curtains'.

Even if you say your bed is a space rocket and do 'one, two, three, four five, flast (yes 'flast') off' you may find 'it's not moving mummy, oh silly me, it's a bed'

Also, houses are too big to move. And, even if they could move, they would be 'too big to go down the slide'.

Was your bedtime as educational?



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I bet you think it is mid-summer

Luckily Little Girl isn't fooled, this is how she dressed for nursery today:








- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Fit or Flop

This is a sponsored post in that I was sent a lovely shiny pair of Fit Flops

So many things these days seem to be intent on pointing out how old I am; the latest thing actually being my feet.

Well, maybe not my feet, but my back. Only in that my back is beginning to dictate what I wear on my feet.

My summer footwear of choice would be the classic flip-flop, the minimal rubber styling of something like a Haivianna (do you remember a time before these when flip-flops were just flip-flops? Except in Oz of course when it’s a thong…)

Now I am a Mum who is fast approaching her forties (F*ck me when did that happen – the forties that is, I know about the birds and the bees!) I have to be aware that those minor pains are less minor and more fat ass (quite literally) pains.

Luckily for me the nice people at Cloggs have sent me a pair of Fitflops to review.

While I approach their bulk in horror I do find myself admiring the support. I am looking at these less as something to give me a bottom like the one in the picture but more to stop me having to walk like a seventy year old hunch back.

I’m sorry but the sparkles do little to mask the bulk and I do find it difficult to imagine when, based on aesthetics, these would be my style choice, but they are blooming comfy. And yes, supportive; strange as they are designed to destabilise you to make your muscles work harder. I’ll get back to you, with photos, when my arse resembles the advertising picture.

I’ve poked around the Cloggs website and I quite fancy a pair of these ones. I mean if Anna Sui can design them maybe, just maybe I can adjust my sense of style just a little.

I did say maybe…

Silent Sunday

Pass me that stick, I'd like to beat myself

I was reading Sally blog with her ten reasons she is a bad mummy, and you know I have a list of reasons I'm a bad mummy too.

My list covers things from letting Little Girl watch too much telly through to the fact that I relish my time alone a little more than I think I ought to.

And I guess that is actually the crux of the matter: it's what 'I think'.

I'm the one judging me against my own criteria. Criteria not based on any form of reality, just how I think I ought to be.

Basically, I think it boils down to the fact that I am not the mum I thought I'd be.

Oh, and I didn't realise what a chore going to the park could be.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

MY Stairway to Heaven

Restored to it's former glory




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Stairway to Heaven

The title may be a bit misleading and if you are young and were not educated in the way of music by your parents I am probably about to baffle you even further.

You see, I only wish 'that all that glitters is gold', and if I could afford to 'buy' anything right now I wouldn't be writing this post - but now I nearly gave away the punch line.

The drugs are obviously working as I am actually beginning to get things done rather than spending weeks and months just fretting and guilting about them.

Saturday afternoon I painted the front door.

The last two evenings have found me making my way up my stairs backwards, on my bottom. No, I haven't fallen over again, cheeky.I have been painting the stairs. Like Rapunzel I am now stranded in my tower, anyone wanting to rescue me would have to come through the window.

As I painted my way to bed last night little girl came out of her bedroom to watch.

Her comment: 'ooh I like the stairs mummy', went down well.

The comment 'you look like a man mummy', was a little more perplexing.

Apparently I looked like a man because I was painting. Oh my.

Believe you me, if I could afford it or if I had one to hand, I would have got a man in!





Don't lynch me, it's not that I can't do it (obviously), I just would rather not.

Perhaps I best start reading Delusions of Gender


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

What do you use your baby's bottom cream for?

Over the last week I have discovered that poverty and vanity are not a good combination.

Last week I allowed my vanity to persuade me that as much as I love the colour of my hair I should hide the grey.

I did. I reached for a Nice n Easy the same colour has my hair not heading the small print that said on natural red hair you will get a lighter red result. To be honest I didn't realise my hair was that red.

The result a red so light it was luminous. Luminous orange that is. A vat of conditioner and a brown semi permanent colour later I am a rather glorious ginger. Oh yes, that IS an improvement.






Today I found a mascara languishing in a bag I hadn't used for about a year. I applied said mascara and have been weeping all day.

But, poverty can me the mother of invention. Ok, I know it is necessity but is vanity really a need? Hmm you have a point. Yes it is.

So, I when I developed what can only be described as acne on my chest do you know how I got rid of it?

I slapped Sudocrem on it every night. It worked a treat.

Apparently women are seeking out the intense moisturising charms of Waitrose's Baby Bottom Butter to slap on their faces.

What do you use your baby's bottom cream for?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone